further to that blah post, it's when i have a shower and i see all the cuts on my arms, that would be the time when it hits me, i have repeatedly cut myself. i can see the scars of the last one. some of the new ones will more then likely scar aswell. some of the lighter cuts have faded. it scares me. i don't know who to talk to. if people don't know i'm depressed then how will they react. going to see the doctor if an absolute non-starter as is the counselling service. i can't wear a t-shirt. such a little thing. if i rub my arm i can feel the raised cuts. these scars are something i won't be able to hide forever. when i go swimming next.... people will see the scars. and the worst thing... i have no idea why i do it to myself. but i think it is impacting on my work. i want to tell my mum. mum i get the urge to cut myself. *sighs*

what happened to me so that i am like this?

*sighs*