some an instinctive desire to run away. she's a friend of my housemate. she's always been a very pretty girl. see her a lot in the library. apparently, word on the street has filtered back to me, that, she thinks i don't know who she is. would explain the sort of half smiles when i look her way. how ironic really. can't stop looking at her. "it couldn't be further from the truth" it couldn't. that she asked after me. it's everything - could be. it's nothing; maybe it's the why is he staring at me.

the mere thought of it, makes me smile, so i'm walking to the library, and i see her and she sees me and we mutually smile and i walk the other way to the shop otherwise i would have had to talk to her. [sarcasm]the logic of the situation is baffling even to me, scientific as i am. [/sarcasm]so, boy likes girl, boy has been unable to ascertain whether girl does indeed like boy, but boy has not ruled out said possibility, even if boy is remarkably cynical, boy sort of knows girl, girl sort of knows boy, girl 'thinks' boy doesn't know who she is, boy laughs at this, boy does nothing about this, so; boy sees girl, girl recognises boy, boy is going in the same direction as girl, boy goes somewhere else. genius boy. if ever there was one. genius/jam fool. boy sighs a lot.

well today, it started ok as days go, didn't get much work done. and then she left. and then i entered a whole...... can't concentrate, act funny stage. have done no work this evening. and that doesn't seem to bother me.

i think i've given up already. that's the sad thing. but, then if that's sad, then i should do something about it. no. that's just not the way it is. that's the sad thing.