i feel suicidal. it's like - never going to get to where i want to go. or at least, if i am.... it's all happening too slowly. it's like i need to get a job, to earn money to buy stuff. i need money to live. i need a job to live. that's fair enough isn't it. ain't nothing that's free. but that seems it. i can't remember the last thing i bought that wasn't temporary. food, drink, bills. i don't really want anything. but don't have it within me to do what i would like.

i want to be a vegetarian. i would like to go travelling, but this country is beautiful enough.

read through the Howies catalogue today... i want to be like that. i just can't see it happening. *sighs*